Without painful consequences for our dysfunctional behaviors recovery doesn’t usually occur. While we may want recovery generally speaking we have to be in enough pain to be wiling to do something about it. The first year of recovery is a dichotomy for many of us. It includes feelings of joy for being out of our addictive cycle, while at times, feeling worse.
Read MoreMost couples have the same fight over and over again. These seemingly endless, irresolvable, repetitions are the templates of our unsuccessful relating strategies. They are a vicious cycles that dig us in deeper and deeper, eating up, over the years, more and more of the goodwill and connection we start off with. Terry Real calls this a couple's "Bad Deal."
Read MoreCore Negative Image or CNI is our vision of our partners in their most difficult, irrational and least loving moments. When we move into "you always" or "you never" with our partner we are no longer arguing with each other but rather our caricatured version of our partner.
Read MoreWe are taught how to have intimacy and attachment by our family, specifically our primary caregivers; mom and dad. How our parents relate to us, our siblings, and each other, becomes very familiar to us as children. It creates a template for future relationships and intimacy. As we grow up and look for our own partner we are attracted, unconsciously or consciously to what we know and are familiar with.
Read MoreFind out if you struggle with sex addiction.
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